Feelings About Money
There are battlefields that seem to pit deep, earnest, real human feelings against cold logic, and maybe that means that what you choose ends up being a lot about the way you move through the world, the way you make decisions, or even just what aesthetics you have.
But I think this misses the real human feelings that logic and numbers are about. I remember when I learned that the so-called economic efficiency my libertarian friends kept telling me about meant money in people's pockets. And I remember when I first saw someone cry thinking about all of the beings that might exist in the future and how important they were to him. And Katja’s post (partially) about improved Uber algorithms meaning people who don't have to walk home has stuck with me. [Related: How To Feel About EA]
It's easy to look at the end result of a process, like "EAs sure do spend a lot of money" and feel reasonably concerned about the thought process that led to it. Maybe they just want to be comfortable, and are using motivated reasoning to get what they want. Maybe they just want to be important, and are using motivated reasoning to put high value on their time.
Others can speak to the journey that took them from counting their every purchase in bed nets to endorsing throwing every ounce of their energy and resources and advocacy to saving the world from existential risks. My journey is not quite so vast and speaks less to the goodness of my heart, I was never living in my van or in pestilential apartments, but endorsing spending money is a real matter with real stakes to me and not one that comes out of not having feelings.
Here are some feelings I have about money:
My feelings are that the world might end. Really, really end. And if that happens, I don't want to think "I'm so glad I saved that $200, or this $30, or didn't try that $30,000 project"
My feelings are that I'm trying to spend my time well, and right, and thinking about the choice to wash dishes instead makes me seriously seriously worry about the time I've wasted that I could have used, in honor of some sense of "this is how you live as an adult in an apartment", and I feel guilty and silly.
One of the things rationality and EA taught me is that the things you don’t do are harder to see, but no less important, than the things you do do.
My feelings are that saving money by spending time at the wrong ratio isn't some "awww, she's just too virtuous", it's that it's a *mistake*, with consequences.
My feelings are that time and energy spent figuring out which computer to buy or whether therapy is worth it is real time and energy that if I can save the people I think are doing great work by telling them to just buy it, I will feel like I did something good and right that day.
And my feelings are that money buys opportunities and missing opportunities could mean disaster. Money buys hope.
Endorsing spending money doesn’t just come from feelings, it also comes from reasons, and I have many many feelings and reasons in the other direction, but I won’t concede feelings only to one side of this conversation.
